U: Uncrossing for Idiots

This post is part of the Pagan Blog Project.

"I don't trust any of you dogfuckers." 
- Spider Jerusalem 

I can literally do the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram in my sleep, did you know that? Can and have - perfect ritual in the middle of a fucking dream. This doesn't make me badass so much as it makes me anal retentive, I'm sure, but it's still not a bad skill to have when you've devoted your life to sticking your nose where it doesn't belong spiritually. There is shit out there that you do not want on you.

I first read Dion Fortune's classic Psychic Self Defense when I was in my late teens or early twenties. It was the first time Fortune's work seemed to make any real sense, and even then it seemed antiquated - it was easy to imagine Crowley and his contemporaries hurtling magical attacks at one another (since, uh, they did) but to actually worry about that shit in modern life? Yeah, I'm so sure that asshole on the other end of  a yahoo mailing list bragging about his Demon Powerz was suuuuuuch a threat.

Here's the thing, though - I still have Fortune's book. And in terms of self defense? I've added to the arsenal of books on the subject. Jason Miller's Protection and Reversal Magick is my favourite, but I have several recipe books full of floorwashes, incenses, baths and the like. This does not mean that I believe everyone in the world is out to get me. I just realise that very often people will put their shit on you without even meaning to.

You can view uncrossing through a psychological lens if you like - pressures of life and ways to decompress from them, etc etc, giving yourself a sense of control and so on and so forth. Magic as placebo. That's cool, you rock on with your bad self, I totally agree with all of it. I just also believe in malefica and malochia.

You can believe in science and magic both.

Because of this, I am a big fan of regular spiritual checkups and preventative measures. I am also more likely that some people to take people seriously when they say they think they've been jinxed.

Can't hurt, might help - this is generally the way I approach the whole people asking for uncrossing work thing, unless the person is CLEARLY unstable and has an addictive personality. (It's the same with tarot - if you know a person is just looking to reinforce their own beliefs/can't function without a sense of outside force, you do not work for them.)

I don't think people are often cursed maliciously by people who know what they're doing - in the circles I run in, there are shockingly few active practitioners, and those that do are generally very positive people. I suspect this is true of the greater population as well. But there's a small chance, still. More likely is accidental jinxing, through sheer force of will.

So, for whatever reason, you think maybe someone or something has fucked you up. You feel 'out of step with time' to quote Jason Miller, your luck sucks, you keep breaking shit, you get headaches for no apparent reason... What do you do?

The simplest thing to do, I think, is to take an uncrossing bath. There are loads and loads of recipes for these, but my in-a-hurry formula is salt, essential oil of sandalwood, rosemary, and lavender, or Florida water. I also have basil and rosemary plants so I can make teas to add to the tub quickly.

After an uncrossing bath, I believe one should clean the house as well, both physically and spiritually. So more Florida water in the mop bucket, sage or a Van Van candle burning, and then bang out the LBRP if you're magically inclined. If you maintain an ancestor altar, now is a good time to make sure it's tidy and to make some offerings, too - they can watch your back.

This will generally clean up any accidental Evil Eye bullshit, or clear off things you may have pissed off without realising. If things do not improve, THEN you can consider active hexing. (This is to be considered only after you look at your life and determine that no, it's not just that you do not have your own shit together.) Then you can break out the big guns, depending on your tradition.

In summation, the world is not actively out to get you. It's indifferent. But it is dirty out there, and you will get muck on you whether you ask for it or not. Learn how to clean it off.