Haunted (when the minutes drag)

Every year I have a checklist of 'shit to do before Halloween.' The list tends to stay fairly consistent, as events tend to be annual. This year I've made an effort to shift  the focus from the blood-and-guts jump-scare aspect of the holiday to the more autumnal and haunting side.

Partially this is because I am a horror fan - serial killers and zombies don't belong to October, in my mind. That shit is all year round.  Ghosts on the other hand, really do seem to thrive as the weather turns cold, and monsters go with Halloween like Nutella goes with everything.

So. No gore flicks. Monster Squad, Elvira, Tales from the Darkside and every ghost movie ever rule the day. I haven't been to any haunted attractions - I enjoy them, but I've chosen instead to put my budget toward things like the Chilliwack Corn Maze, the Vancouver Haunted Trolley tour, and of course the Stanley Park Ghost Train. (This year's theme was Classic Movie Monsters. Perfect.) Today I'll be going to Burnaby to check out the 'Haunted Village.'

The weather has been perfect for October, alternating between sunny and foggy. Although I haven't made it out to the cemetery besides as part of the trolley tour, I have taken several walks through crisp autumn leaves and also along the seawall in the dense fog. I feel badly for my sister sometimes - October is her busiest month, and consequently she's said it doesn't feel like Halloween is so close.

Some holidays are just that - days. Halloween (and I guess Christmas) is different. It's a month-long celebration of spooky shit, a fantastical meeting of death and sex. I feel fortunate that I have had time to enjoy the pumpkin spice lattes and ciders, to make paper decorations for the walls, and to simply enjoy the atmosphere peculiar to this time of year.

They keep stolen souls in that pumpkin.

Now. Links.

Jezebel's Annual Halloween Thread Party. - Although the website has been on a steady decline in terms of good content, I do check in occasionally. I was pleased to see that they're doing another scary story thread, along with links to past years' tales. 

 
One of my favourite podcasts is Last Podcast on the Left. (My sister and I frequently reference it, and have taken to screaming about bones in the chocolate.) My absolute favourite episodes of the show are the Creepypasta ones, which I will now list here.

Creepypasta!- The very first, highlighting some of the better known stories.

A Smattering of Creepy - Includes the pug parade, and a real life serial killer call,

The Hamburgering -The boys explain how to play the Midnight Game.

Then Who Was Phone?! - The very, very best. If you listen to only one of these? Listen to this one, specifically around the 25 minute mark.

Babybum - The latest instalment. Ben Kissel's bedroom, talking to God, and the eternal mystery of who was phone. We still don't know.

The Letter

The month creeps along, and we grow ever closer to AbraCadaver. Every year I do a lot of work behind the scenes, and this year is no exception.

Still, I found time to play another low-res horror game: The Last Door. You can play chapter one for free, and chapter two by donation. Have to say I really enjoyed this one.

Music. Booze. WTFery

Fats approaching the AbraCadaver Cabaret. This has left precious little time for much of, well, anything really. Here, have some spooky music!

Boo-yah. The classic X-Entertainment Halloween Jukebox available, of course.

I downloaded Hipster Halloween after hearing a lot of the songs on Bindlegrim Radio. It's a nice alternative to the same Halloween CDs that come out every year that for some reason really, really want to make 'Purple People Eater' happen. I fucking hate that song. However, it does inexplicably include 'Teddy Bear's Panic' on it. What the fuck, Henry Hall? Henry Hall, for the record, looked like someone my sister would date. So from now on Henry Hall is her boyfriend, we've decided. We were probably drunk at the time.

SPEAKING OF DRUNK... Voodoo and I purchased some Rickard's Cardigan beer. Because it's wearing a sweater. No, seriously, that's why Voodoo bought the first box. But then we bought two more boxes, because we actually liked it. ...and Aleister Crane drank all of the first box. It's a nice autumn flavour that manages not to taste like rotting pumpkin. Next on the Spooky Brew list is Dead Guy Ale. I'll let you know how that goes.

Martha Stewart really dropped the ball this year. The only time we ever buy her bloody magazine is in October, but this year the Halloween issue was a fucking reprint! BOO-URNS, MARTHA. I wanted new spooky shit! I'd cut a bitch, but I'm pretty sure Martha is secretly like the Grand Wizard in Worst Witch or some shit.

If that wasn't WTF enough for you, I present Jeff Goldblum as a fucking vampire.

Fuck yeah?

God help me, but I'm totally reading Fuckyeahnightmares on Tumblr. It's... bad? But has gems like this:

Anonymous sent: one time i was masturbating and then i see a fucking huge spider outside my window. it was scary

The reply? perverted spider

Basically it has a bunch of paranormal-ish stories submitted, and sometimes shit like the above. I am entertained.


I've also been playing the old Amiga Uninvited all day. A-fucking-mazing.