The Best Craigslist Ad

This is my favourite Craigslist posting.

For when it eventually dies, here is the text:

Do you like dipping things into thick melted liquids and then eating it? 
Would you like to impress a date or someone you have a crush on with some sophisticated cooking that is as easy as shit?
Do you like the Swiss? 

Well then fondue most likely, quite possibly, maybe be for you.

Set includes:

-two burners (thats right two! One for cheese and one for chocolate. Or one for hot burning oil, and one for..well...some other sauce you fondue with.)

-classic collectible 1970's fondue book, where its so 70's they call Asian cuisine "oriental." 

-2 bottles of clean odourless burning fluid.

-bundle of skewers (dont worry, you share in fondue)

-2 serving plates. (color coordinated so you don't mix up food dipped in chocolate with things dipped in cheese.)

-certificate of authenticity that means absolutely nothing.

-one cardboard box to hold all this Fondue Funness.

That is all.

Futhark my life.

On the way to the drugstore, there is a long white construction wall with 'post no bills' signs on it. Indeed, there are no bills. There is, however, graffiti. On my way past, I scanned the usual anti-gentrification slogans, and then did a double take.

"Is that the fucking elder futhark?"

I pulled an eyeliner pen out of my purse and quickly copied down the runes onto my wrist. Walking home I s

tudied it, cursing myself for not knowing if a) it WAS for sure the elder futhark and b) not remembering the bloody alphabet if it were. I then realised nobody in their right mind would give two shits.

A google search later, I discover, A-HA! It's the MEDIEVAL expansion on the younger futhark. I then set about translating my wrist.

It says, 'Larson.'

What we have learned today: some kid named Larson has a sharpie, and I have no life.

 

 

(My sister, however, thinks it's adorable that a) I was upset for not knowing my runic alphabet, and b) for being honestly pissed that it was just some kid's name.)