Saturday was another witch meetup. Half the girls couldn't make it, meaning that there was in total only four of us. ("Four would make a circle....") Ultimately this worked out well, as it meant that we had an opportunity to do more than just talk.
After the talking and sangria, it quickly became apparent that the issues facing people were not exterior problems but rather internal. I decided that we should do a reading to help clarify, and so I pulled out the Vertigo deck and shuffled it up. Each of us picked a card, and then I drew an additional three to see how our individual needs connected and what to do about it. I had everyone interpret their own cards. The reading confirmed that the issues facing each of us were emotional and mental, and not something quite as cut and dry as "I need more money."
The intersect cards were The Devil, the Four of Swords, and the Three of Swords. Once again I asked the girls to give me their thoughts on the cards, which they did. They were all very insightful, and I admit it was fascinating to hear what other people felt and saw in cards that I myself am so familiar with.
The key to crafting magic in this case was The Devil. The Vertigo's Devil is Lucifer from the Sandman comics - the fallen angel who handed over the key to hell and escaped his prison. In the card, Lucifer's wrist is shackled. That to me was the crux of the matter - we had these sword cards, and then here's a shackled figure. We were in bondage, perhaps willingly.
So what does that mean? Well. You want to break free, obviously.
We did a five minute sitting meditation, and then an exercise I learned in dance class. This exercise is a variation on one my sister had assigned as 'homework' last month to everyone in the group - the ideal way to do it is to be able to roll across a length of floor with your eyes closed while music plays. The idea is that gravity can't fuck with you when you're already laying down, so your body can move in ways it cannot when you're standing. It can express movement more freely, even if you can't do a full roll - you just need enough room to starfish in.
My apartment isn't big enough to allow four grown women to starfish at the same time, so instead we used the up-and-down variation: you begin in essentially child's pose, and move in between that and standing. My house, my music, so we used Chelsea Wolfe.
So why make anybody do this before sitting down to cast some spells?
It is entirely possible to do magic without emotion - there are plenty of instruction manuals out there that you can use to follow formula, and you will see results. In my personal experience, however, the most successful magicians are those who can navigate their own interior landscapes. How are you supposed to traverse other wolds when you cannot look within? If you don't know who you are, you can get lost more easily, and if you don't deal with your emotions you are at their mercy when they eventually overwhelm your defenses.
We carry emotions in our bodies. This isn't news - plenty of people have stress induced muscle pain, particularly in the neck and shoulders. Lots of people clench their jaws or grind their teeth. Exercise can lift our mood. If you are lucky enough to have a range of movement, allowing your body to express itself can help you bypass the thinking mind. You don't analyse your emotions, you simply feel them. They move through you.
The key to escaping our shackles was the Devil. Traditionally, this is a card associated with indulgence in 'base' desires and impulses. The old goat will not tell you deny your body. He won't tell you to restrain your emotions, either.
The spellwork itself was focused on ridding ourselves of things we
were chained to, and I feel that doing the exercise directly beforehand made the spellcasting portion much, much easier. There was a sense of surrender to whatever needed to happen - the entire evening revolved around freedom from painful coping mechanism and blockages, and attempting to control that freedom would simply smother it instead. Open, we could accept the change that is coming.
What remains to be seen, of course, is how we deal with it when it happens.
Showing posts with label tarot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tarot. Show all posts
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Monday, December 22, 2014
The Longest Night
Today marks the both the winter solstice and the new moon. The solstice happened at 3 in the afternoon, meaning that I spent it with my mother and sister. This is fitting, as the first real witch holiday we spent together as a family was a winter solstice many years ago - my sister had just moved home after breaking up with a real douchenozzle. So it's always a bit of a special family holiday for me.
After my mom left, I brewed myself some mushroom tea - I mixed it with the African Mint I bought from David's Tea, which has both mint and ginger to negate any nausea brought on by the mushrooms. I banished and cleansed the house, then drank the tea while reading Women of the Golden Dawn.
It took some time for me to actually notice the effects - I was convinced the dose was too low right up until I realised I'd been mesmerised by the ceiling for an unknown amount of time. I didn't have anything specifically planned for the duration of the trip, but I certainly had expectations for the energy of it - I was thinking of sacrifice and wisdom, shades of the dead and glimpses of the future, maybe a visit from the old One-Eyed Bastard. Nope. Instead it was a very sensual, primal energy - I felt like Rosaleen Norton. Not what I'd planned for, as I tend to me more cerebral, but it was a fascinating experience. As is usual with this sort of thing, the physical events themselves read as utterly dull, but the things that cannot be conveyed well made it worthwhile.
After a while I found myself talking to the cat too much, and apparently I got both cold and jealous of her fur since I wound up going to the closet for my fur coat. I got a bit nauseous then and so I curled up and waited it out with deep breathing. Some time after that I got out my Vertigo deck and did a Journey of the Fool spread, which was a bit more intense than I'd anticipated. Apparently my new year's theme card is The Star. This is a card I've always had a hard time with, so I plan to meditate on it for the rest of the month.
I had my sister come over once her boyfriend was gone to his gig, and she brought her Froud oracle - the very one I'd bought her for that first Yule all those years ago. She gave me some more insight into my reading, and then we just sat around and watched a lot of Degrassi Jr. High while I ate pizza.
I closed up the evening with a bath and another banishing, and a cup of ginger tea. All in all, not a bad way to spend the longest night of the year.
After my mom left, I brewed myself some mushroom tea - I mixed it with the African Mint I bought from David's Tea, which has both mint and ginger to negate any nausea brought on by the mushrooms. I banished and cleansed the house, then drank the tea while reading Women of the Golden Dawn.
I had my sister come over once her boyfriend was gone to his gig, and she brought her Froud oracle - the very one I'd bought her for that first Yule all those years ago. She gave me some more insight into my reading, and then we just sat around and watched a lot of Degrassi Jr. High while I ate pizza.
I closed up the evening with a bath and another banishing, and a cup of ginger tea. All in all, not a bad way to spend the longest night of the year.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Tarot for Tips
Friday night I was lucky enough to be invited to read cards for donations at the Neil E Dee Danger Thrill Show at Lana Lou's. The venue is actually really nice, and has the bonus of having booths in the back so that I could give readings in a fairly private environment.
The crowd was super fun, friendly, and generous. Not gonna lie, I was expecting to make enough to maybe pay for my drinks, but I walked away with enough to finance a little shopping spree and also two free glasses of wine. The evening was almost totally enjoyable.
Almost because of this one fucking guy.
So, a surprising number of people got their readings done with another person present - friends, partners, whatever. This one lovely goth chick came in with her handsome fella and I did as I do and asked her which deck she would like: the Rider or the Thoth?
Her fella, I realised, was quite drunk. He reached over and tapped the Thoth deck. "That one. That's the real one."
She seemed happy with the choice so I figured, fuck it, not going to ask what the fuck that's supposed to mean. I did ask him if he were a magician, thinking maybe this was some sort of metaphysical dick-swinging contest because he was an OTO freak or some shit, but he said nope, he wasn't.
All night long, I'd been doing Celtic Cross spreads with additional cards thrown if the client had additional questions. This is because when reading for strangers, I tend to read pretty fast - 90% of them do not give two shits about what the symbolism in the cards means, they want to know if they're gonna get laid or make it rich. So I laid out the cards and I realised the dude was frowning heavily as I turned them over.
"I don't do reversals," I told them. Which is true - I don't. The fella voiced his opinion that he believes cards fall rightside up or not for a reason, and I smiled and said that that is totally valid, but it's not my method. I've used reversals before in my fifteen-plus years reading, and to be frank I find they don't really offer a lot to a reading provided you're using a decent spread. His girlfriend sort of brushed him off and he subsided... but then proceeded to roll his eyes and make noises for the duration of the reading.
I've read for a lot of people. I've read for genuine nutcases, people who don't believe in divination (this actually happens more than you'd think), and the cataclysmically wasted. But I honestly don't remember ever having someone so aggressive sitting at my table before... and it wasn't even his reading! Throughout the entire encounter I tried to only focus on the woman, and stay as friendly and open as I always do. But holy bejeebus was it hard. One of the cards he was pissed I had flipped around I actually turned upside down for his benefit and said, "okay, so if we read this reversed it means this..." which considering the position, was basically what I had fucking said in the first place anyway. I figured if I played nice maybe he would back off and let his lady enjoy herself, but no.
When the reading was over, the woman went into her purse. Her fella looked exasperated, but thankfully got the fuck out of the booth so I could lean over and tell her NOT to give me money because I was thrown off and consequently felt that I had done a shitty job. She told me no, she was going to pay me if only for my patience. I actually have a feeling she overtipped me because she was embarrassed. At the time I would rather have had her keep her money, but whatever, it means today I got to buy a sweater so I guess it all worked out in the end. Dude probably didn't get laid that night either, since she seemed pretty pissed.
I'd been slammin busy all night, but I got lucky and had a few minutes to chill out and get back in the right headspace by drinking a little more wine and focusing on the High Priestess card for a bit.
I got home around one thirty in the morning. I probably could have stayed later and made some more money, but I was frankly exhausted by that point. Saturday I kind of slugged around too , still feeling drained. I slept in today which helped, and tonight when I go to the gym I think I'm going to make a point of visualising sweating out the icky vibes, then come home and do a proper cleanse. (Catching up on my blog reading I see Deb has a timely post regarding that.)
Overall though, I would totally do the event again. I just might ask dicks to wait outside next time.
The crowd was super fun, friendly, and generous. Not gonna lie, I was expecting to make enough to maybe pay for my drinks, but I walked away with enough to finance a little shopping spree and also two free glasses of wine. The evening was almost totally enjoyable.
Almost because of this one fucking guy.
So, a surprising number of people got their readings done with another person present - friends, partners, whatever. This one lovely goth chick came in with her handsome fella and I did as I do and asked her which deck she would like: the Rider or the Thoth?
Her fella, I realised, was quite drunk. He reached over and tapped the Thoth deck. "That one. That's the real one."
She seemed happy with the choice so I figured, fuck it, not going to ask what the fuck that's supposed to mean. I did ask him if he were a magician, thinking maybe this was some sort of metaphysical dick-swinging contest because he was an OTO freak or some shit, but he said nope, he wasn't.
All night long, I'd been doing Celtic Cross spreads with additional cards thrown if the client had additional questions. This is because when reading for strangers, I tend to read pretty fast - 90% of them do not give two shits about what the symbolism in the cards means, they want to know if they're gonna get laid or make it rich. So I laid out the cards and I realised the dude was frowning heavily as I turned them over.
"I don't do reversals," I told them. Which is true - I don't. The fella voiced his opinion that he believes cards fall rightside up or not for a reason, and I smiled and said that that is totally valid, but it's not my method. I've used reversals before in my fifteen-plus years reading, and to be frank I find they don't really offer a lot to a reading provided you're using a decent spread. His girlfriend sort of brushed him off and he subsided... but then proceeded to roll his eyes and make noises for the duration of the reading.
I've read for a lot of people. I've read for genuine nutcases, people who don't believe in divination (this actually happens more than you'd think), and the cataclysmically wasted. But I honestly don't remember ever having someone so aggressive sitting at my table before... and it wasn't even his reading! Throughout the entire encounter I tried to only focus on the woman, and stay as friendly and open as I always do. But holy bejeebus was it hard. One of the cards he was pissed I had flipped around I actually turned upside down for his benefit and said, "okay, so if we read this reversed it means this..." which considering the position, was basically what I had fucking said in the first place anyway. I figured if I played nice maybe he would back off and let his lady enjoy herself, but no.
When the reading was over, the woman went into her purse. Her fella looked exasperated, but thankfully got the fuck out of the booth so I could lean over and tell her NOT to give me money because I was thrown off and consequently felt that I had done a shitty job. She told me no, she was going to pay me if only for my patience. I actually have a feeling she overtipped me because she was embarrassed. At the time I would rather have had her keep her money, but whatever, it means today I got to buy a sweater so I guess it all worked out in the end. Dude probably didn't get laid that night either, since she seemed pretty pissed.
I'd been slammin busy all night, but I got lucky and had a few minutes to chill out and get back in the right headspace by drinking a little more wine and focusing on the High Priestess card for a bit.
I got home around one thirty in the morning. I probably could have stayed later and made some more money, but I was frankly exhausted by that point. Saturday I kind of slugged around too , still feeling drained. I slept in today which helped, and tonight when I go to the gym I think I'm going to make a point of visualising sweating out the icky vibes, then come home and do a proper cleanse. (Catching up on my blog reading I see Deb has a timely post regarding that.)
Overall though, I would totally do the event again. I just might ask dicks to wait outside next time.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Make my own home be my gallows.
The Hanged Man is one of my favourite cards.
Trump twelve can best be summed up by the keyword 'sacrifice' which often puts people off. You hear the word and get stuck on the action, forgetting that sacrifice is done with a goal in mind. Fear consumes the individual and they fail to see the chance for liberation.
Rachel Pollack, in Tarot Wisdom, points out that in the Rider deck if card 12 is turned upside down, it mirrors card 21. The Hanged Man and the World dancer possess the same posture; their legs form the number four, their arms create triangles. Sacred numbers are hidden in the flesh.
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| Vertigo Tarot by Dave McKean |
A myth I personally find more personally relevant is that of Odin on the World Tree. If you're unfamiliar with the story, Odin hangs for nine days and nights on Yggdrasil, pierced by his own spear, in order to make himself ready to receive the runes and therefore the knowledge of all the nine worlds and their magic. Odin, of course, is also the same guy who sacrificed an eye at the well of Mimir - this is a figure who understands that to get, you gotta give, and sometimes it sucks hard.
While the Hanged Man has mundane applications - having no social life in order to pay off your debt, for example - as with most of the Major Arcana I find the esoteric implications far more fascinating, and it is for this reason that card twelve is my second favourite in the deck. It is one of the more intellectual cards in that it deals with wisdom, but at the same time maintains a strong connection to the occult. It is worth noting that the Golden Dawn sometimes used the alternate title The Drowned Man - this appears to be due to the Hebrew letter assigned the card being 'Mem' which translates to 'water.' Here again, we can skip across our myths and look to Odin, suspended above Mimir's well. The presence of water in a card speaks of the hidden sort of knowledge, of deep and mysterious fathoms.
The sea, altered states, sacrifice, and enlightenment. There is much to learn from the Hanged Man, hanging from his gibbet with a peaceful, knowing smile.
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