Sunday, April 9, 2017

Double Ds

Sometimes things happen very quickly. Too quickly - all you can do then is put on your boots and roll with it as best you can.

Tommie Kelly released The Forty Servants a while ago. I read Tommie's blog, but I admit I didn't pay much attention to the release - I tend not to enjoy oracle cards very much. Turns out this is an exception.

You can try the deck out in virtual form here. I did, and the very first card I pulled was The Depleted.

My good friend Andrew pulled it, too. We both reacted the same way: "goddamn son of a bitch." Because it was right - we were both completely burnt out.

I can't speak for Andrew, but myself? I'd been working two jobs, my father had recently had major heart surgery at nearly age 70, my sister was suffering from severe anxiety and in the process of breaking up with a partner, a friend had to be rushed to the hospital... everything was shit. And in the middle of this, I volunteered myself to preform at the Vancouver Burlesque Centre's Student Showcase. Yeah, sign me up, I haven't been on stage in at least a year! Fuck it, how hard could it be?

Goddamn son of a bitch.

Some of it I did to myself, but even the shit I didn't plan on is no excuse to curl up into a weeping ball of marshmallow fluff. (This is not to say I did not weep, because I totally did. I came home fro my second contract and cried in my closet one day because I couldn't find a misplaced lab coat.)I am an adult - part of that is owning up to the responsibility of my reactions. I am also a fucking occultist - part of that is manipulating my goddamn reality.

This spring has been hard. But so what? Embrace the thorns of the plants trying desperately to find the sun behind the grey and omnipresent clouds. You're alive, witch, do something with that.

My return to the stage was a Bride of Frankenstein number, set to Shearwater's Quiet Americans. A woman made by man for man, ultimately embracing her imperfect form and revolting against the very idea that she exists solely for her creator.

I got to throw a chair, it was boss.

Since then, more opportunities to preform have presented themselves. My second job will end on the 14th, leaving me with more free time that I intend to devote to running and writing. If nothing else, working more really does teach you that you can accomplish an awful lot before bedtime.

For fun, I just pulled another of the Forty Servants to see what I should bear in mind for the next lunar cycle.  I got The Devil

Well. That I can work with.


  1. Aw, honey :( I'm sorry you're having such a hard time! <3

  2. I also like that you described Magic Mike XXL as a religious experience.